A Conspiracy At UPEI

Well they say bad things come in three's, and I'm sure there have been people running around UPEI wondering what our third scandal would be. Well, run no more, because today it has been discovered. SOMEONE, and I am going to assume it's someone with a little bit of power around campus, is hiding a CAT in the classroom center. I AM NOT JOKING. IT IS A REAL LIVE CAT. I better back up a bit...
I have a friend with whom I sometimes explore campus with when our psychology class gets out early. *Since I figure that if anyone 'official' who represents the university/is involved with the cat scandal is reading this that they will be angry that we caught them, I am going to put her under the witness protection program and call her Lucy.* Today, mine and Lucy's psychology class got out early. As we had already explored much of the univeristy buildings, we decided to move to the AVC. However, we felt like it was quite obvious we didnt belong in the AVC, and so we decided to move to a hallway we had noticed in the classroom center which was marked 'AVC'. We entered this hallway with caution, and found a secret door, which no one seemed to be entering. Well, curiosity got the best of me, and I turned the door handle. We immediately heard an animal run to the door. At first glance, I thought it was a dog, but Lucy double checked, and lo and behold, outside that door was the scandal cat. There was even a bag of catfood beside the door. So this gets me wondering, what on earth is a cat doing on campus, in a secret room down a secret hallway? Well, the number of answers that popped into my head was far to great to narrow it down to a single one, but nothing good ever comes from a secret cat in a secret location. Maybe they are feeding it so much food that it will eventually become the size of KCI and eat all students with late fees at the library. Maybe they are creating a formula, and putting it in all campus food, that will turn students into rats, and then feed them to Fluffy [I bet his name is Fluffy]. Or MAYBE, the cat IS a student, and is simply the first one to undergo transformation, but because of a virus in the air on campus, soon all of us will be cats. Those are just some of my many hypothesis, let me know if you have any good ones.

P.S. If you are with the university, and are extremely angered by our discovery, and will stop at nothing until this informative blog entry is deleted, please leave a check for 1 million dollars under the vending machine in Cass, which we also explored today.